Never Knew I was a Runner…
Back in Mid-August I was asked by one my closest friends if I was interested to run in a half-marathon with her. Mind you, I barely ran, mainly all my training has been dance, weight-lifting, and the occasional yoga.
I thought sure why not. I’m a personal trainer, I’ll do my research with long-endurance running training and just enjoy the whole process.
Even though deep down all I could recall was my track star athlete cousin and triathlete aunt, having me huffing and puffing every time I trained with them back when I was in college. I had glimpses of feeling like I was holding them back, out of breath, wondering how the heck do I keep a fast and steady pace, and feeling completely out of shape and just plain suckey.
Here I am 28 and all I had in mind was this was a moment for me to prove to that past version of Ilia, the one who was out of shape and couldn’t keep up in running that this a whole new woman. That I am a personal trainer, that I was capable to do this half marathon, that shoot I’m going to set myself a time goal/pace.
Because let me tell you with social media and mindlessly scrolling, imposter syndrome was beating me in the head during that moment of my life. Little did I know I needed this half-marathon to look forward to, for a moment to have meaning in life.
I remember my first training run, it was late at night on a weekday, I thought I’ll just do 3 to 4 miles while I wait for my boyfriend to come home. Now for a moment imagine, running at a treadmill in the apartment gym facing directly at a wall with windows that you barley could see the tires of parked cars. This run could have gone both ways, I could have went in with the mindset of “This is going to be a boring run and what the heck am I going to get myself into.”
Or
I am turning this run into a meditation.
Now you’re probably thinking, “HUH? Meditation?” During my time studying recreational therapy, I learned about the technique called Running Meditation. I thought why not, I’ll give it a try focus on deep breathing and visualize myself going through the finish line and positive affirmations to go with this run. Too my surprise I completed 6 miles in just about an hour. But not every run was like this. I quickly learned that every run is different, unique, and will have a challenge in its own way.
October 7th, was the day me and my friend decided to do our second longest run outdoor. I remember feeling great and excited to do this run. It was a beautiful day, great weather for a run, and all I could think was 11.50 miles just me, nature, and meditate. Well, it wasn’t the greatest idea to take a rave hydration book-bag. By mile 5, my energy was running low and all I could think about was my knees. With each step after that mile my knees felt as if they were ready to give out. Of course the extra weight of half-gallon of water was impacting my run. We pour the water out and took turns with that darn water bag.
2 hours and 34 min was when we completed the run. Part of me felt defeated. Fear and doubt had enter the chat. All I could think about those next few days was to reevaluate my time goal of completing the half marathon within 2 hours, to now being at least under 2 hrs and 30 min. The next day as I rested and was extremely sore, I just knew I couldn’t let this run defeat me. I sat with myself and realized this is my first half-marathon, I am experiencing soreness and mental obstacles I’ve never been through before. This is a new chapter in my book. All I could do next was research the top stretches for runners and to strengthen my knees.
Throughout the next couple of weeks I had some really awesome kick ass runs and not so great runs, “This is all part of the journey,” as I constantly reminded myself.
The day has finally came, Nov. 7 was race day. I was once told that the feeling of nervousness and excitement are exactly alike, it just depends which word you speak out of your tongue that would become your reality. I told everyone as the days approached and on Nov.7 how I was excited, I felt ready, and I was going to hit under 2 hrs and 30 min and mainly to just have fun.
Next thing you know I was off…like LITERALLY
By the time I hit my fourth mile a couple of guys was next to me and I just overheard them saying the their pace was 8 min and 30 seconds. All I thought was, “Ilia Maria, like when have you ever ran this pace before!” Luckily, after hearing that I felt even more amazing, yet, I acted quickly and slowed down my pace. The last thing I wanted was to puke at the side of the road or to completely burn out my energy, or worse my knees.
I couldn’t believe it I am right there to the finish line, I see my incredibly handsome boyfriend cheering me on and I am right there….
I crossed the finish line.
2 hours 9 minutes and 54 seconds
Since typing this blog in the middle of December, I have already completed my second marathon on December 5th, in which I conquered of just doing a fitness/hobby event simply on my own and to conquer the negative belief I’ve once had in college to stay indoors, not even a nice cold walk, whenever it would get 30 degrees. Which would most likely explain the heavy seasonal depression.
I had to run in cold, cloudy, ehhhh :/ weather. OHHHH and the hills of this marathon!
2 hours and 12 minutes and 34 seconds
The adrenaline of just running with a crowd of all sorts of runners, with just one goal in mind to get to that finish line. Is a feeling like no other. It’s something you would need to experience on your own to understand.
I was shortly contacted by a family member congratulating me on taking on this sport and how it runs in the family. For a moment, all I could do was chuckle a bit. During my runs I would affirm: “I am just as fast as my Mayan ancestors that ran for survival in the Mayan jungles.”
I take the 1234 in my time as symbolism. Symbolism to keep going. Symbolism to always hold on to faith.
I am not sure when my next half marathon will be, due to winter now upon us.
But what I do have faith for, is that I am crossing a finish line on the 2hour mark.
Xoxo,
Coach Ilia Maria 💋
